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May 2012


Remember Numbers!

Dr No has received many queries from baffled GPs stumped by how to vote in the RCGP President and Council elections. Problems have ranged from not knowing how to open the voting papers envelope, through not having the foggiest notion about how the single tranfserable vote works, to logging accidentally onto Facebook and sharing one’s voting preferences there, rather than on the secure voting website. Dr No understands voting can be difficult and stressful, and so he takes this opportunity to share with you this walk through on how to vote safely and effectively.

1. First, make sure you are sitting comfortably at a table or desk, with the unopened voting papers envelope placed in front of you. It is advisable to wear loose-fitting clothing, in case the excitement of participating in the election proves too much for you.

Gluganomics

Today’s announcement by Scotland’s Minister for Emesis, Nicola Stugeron, that the Scottish government intends to set a 50p minimum unit price for alcohol reminds Dr No that a similar bell is set to toll South of the Border. Forty-eight hours after Porgie’s boomerang budget, the one that keeps on coming back to tap the Tories where it hurts, Theresa May was pushed on to the floor of the Commons, in a reckless bigger-the-pushed’un-the-better-the-cushion move, to zap hostile media coverage of the budget, by announcing the Westminster government’s own Alcohol Strategy. Needless to say, that strategy also contains proposals for minimum unit pricing, and, needless to say, both governments are equally deluded in their expectations that this daft policy will do any good. In fact, Dr No predicts it may even do harm.

The Secret Nail Exposed

News of a sort emerged last week that the Iranian Hospitalier’s circle of shadowy investors are to receive an annual bung for stitching up Hinchingbrooke Hospital. The first £2 million of any surplus will be top-sliced, and wired to Jersey, or perhaps some other island where the sun shines a lot. The sweetener came to light after the Health Service Journal unearthed a letter deposited in the House of Commons Library last November by Lord Howe. In it, Howe writes: ‘Under the contract with Circle at Hinchingbrooke NHS Trust, the first £2 million of any year’s surplus will go to the Franchisee, Circle, as it must cover its costs and earn a fee [emphasis added]’. Howe may call it a fee, but to Dr No it looks uncommonly like a kick-back. No wonder the thinking epidemiologist’s crumpet, Professor Allyson Pollock, is scandalised.

Auric’s Law

Regular readers will know that Dr No is an advocate of Auric’s Law of Causes – happenstance, coincidence, enemy action – and it so happens that Auric’s Law has been met, indeed exceeded, in four out of four recent NHS encounters by family and friends of Dr No. In each case, the care provided was either partly or wholly inadequate and/or incompetent; and, by Auric’s Law, he concludes these adverse experiences did not arise by chance, but by malevolent force. The malevolent force was the NHS, or more specifically the doctors who provided (or in some cases did not provide) the care. All four cases happened in, or were related to, secondary (hospital) care, but more often than not the GP was also involved in, or at the least complicit with, the deficient care. In all four cases, either the patient or a relative was a doctor, and so an ‘expert witness’, able to ‘read’ what was going on. How much more poor care, one wonders, goes on, but is unnoticed, because the witnesses are lay, and lack the knowledge to read the signs?